STOP COMPLAINING: Tip 6/7- Be Part of the Solution

Tip 6 of 7 on how to STOP COMPLAINING, is to be Part of the SOLUTION.

 Your housemate doesn't do the dishes...
 Your son used the car and didn't gas up...
 Your lunch mate does not offer to share the tab...

Ready to start complaining about these situations?

I don't know about you, but my complaining persona would likely:
.. do the dishes myself (grumbling about it no doubt)..
.. yell at son and fill up the car myself..
.. don't go out to lunch again with the moocher..

BUT remember, we are trying to curb our complaining and so take a breath...

We don't want to stop at the complaint; we want to move Forward.

Be Part of the Solution.

Ask your housemate to commit to dish schedule.  Ask your son to remind themselves to gas the car (text it!).  Set rules with lunch mates before any food is ordered.

If you are PRO-ACTIVE, then you can prevent problems from occurring, 

and TA-DA.. nothing to complain about!

STOP COMPLAINING: Tip 5/7- Be Responsible.

Tip 5 of 7 on how to STOP COMPLAINING, is to be more RESPONSIBLE.

Personal Responsibility means taking responsibility for your thoughts, actions, and  words... including your own mistakes.

Doing this leads to self-respect.

And when you have self-respect, you will decide to remove those from your life that do NOT respect you... these are the people that will take advantage of you and are likely chronic complainers.

Your life WITH those that like and respect you... Priceless!

STOP COMPLAINING: Tip 4/7- Be Less Judgemental

Tip 4 of 7 on how to STOP COMPLAINING, is to be less JUDGEMENTAL.

How is this related?  Because as you are being JUDGEMENTAL of someone or yourself.. your criticsm easily turns to COMPLAINING.

I love the Urban Dictionary definition of JUDGMENTAL:

1. A way of making ones self feel better, by hurting others. Usually caused by closed mindedness, and a lack of manners. 
2. Feeling the right to judge, and doing so. 

So how should you approach this?

1. BE AWARE when you are being Judgemental- to both yourself and others.  For the rest of the week, just take notice to see if you are indeed passing judgements.
2. UNDERSTAND: I have always stressed with my son that every person has a story.  So before being critical of someone, try and understand their story by talking with them, or imagining their situation.
3. ACCEPT: After trying to understand, your next step is to LET GO OF CONTROL and accept it for what it is. 
4. COMPLIMENT: Opposite of being critical, complimenting yourself and others will give you positive vibes to get thru the day and lower your stress level.

and finally, share a SMILE!

STOP COMPLAINING: Tip 3/7- BE ASSERTIVE.

Tip 3 of 7 on how to STOP COMPLAINING, is to be more ASSERTIVE.

OK.. to understand how this is related to giving up the bad habit of complaining, first look at the definition of ASSERTIVENESS:

Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, without undue anxiety, in a way that doesn't infringe on the rights of others.

Contrast this with the definition of COMPLAIN (via the Urban Dictionary, as it is closer to our intent than Webster's definition):

To express your feelings about a situation in
an annoying manner all the time.

Both actions involve expressing your feelings, yet we want to express assertively vs agressively. In other words, choose your words wisely, pay attention to HOW you voice your feelings, and how you present (ie body language).  But most of all, know that you have the right as a person to express yourself.

STOP COMPLAINING: Tip 2/7- BE MINDFUL

Tip 2 of 7 on how to STOP COMPLAINING, is to be more MINDFUL.

Psychology Today defines MINDFULNESS as:
"a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience."

Apparently, the year 2014 was called the “year of mindful living” (WHO knew? I seem to have missed this trend!).  It was the answer to stress, burnout, tech addiction & distractions… the effects of general business.

So if your goal is find that zen zone and be attentive to the present moment, here are things a mindful person is likely to do:

1. TAKES WALKS & GETS OUTSIDE!
2. REALLY FOCUSES! Really pay attention to daily activities as you perform them (this means when you have sex… don’t be thinking of baking a cake!)
3. CREATES!  From baking, crafting, painting, writing.. do something other than work!
4. UNITASKS! Yes, this is the opposite of multi-tasking (which every employer expects)!  Studies now show that we are incapable of doing multiple tasks at one time WELL.  Try intent focus on one task at a time.
5. SETS SMARTPHONE LIMITS!  Know when NOT to check your phone; do not be a victim of Nomophobia (fear of being out-of-touch)- take back control!
6. SEEKS NEW EXPERIENCES!  Be an adventuress!
7. ACCEPTS THEIR FEELINGS!   “Be happy in the moment, that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.” ~Mother Teresa
8. LAUGHS!  Don’t take yourself so seriously!

I want to know this person;

they certainly sound like someone I would love to hang with!

JUNE: STOP COMPLAINING: Tip 1/7- BE POSITIVE!

JUNE is such an awesome month... I think because of its association with summer vacation, beaches, bbq's, weddings, concerts....

and with today being June 1, it is a good excuse to make a fresh start.. give yourself a clean slate!

Let's use this month of sunshine, almost half-way through the year, to radiate our own rays of light!

First on my list is to STOP COMPLAINING and to veer towards the opposite camp...

BE POSITIVE!

COMPLAINING is easy to do.. and it can be verbal- which affects those around you-  or internal grumbling- which affects your own energy.  Being in a constant state of negativity, drains you. Being around someone who constantly whines drains you.

So let's take 7 days to find 7 Ways to Stop Complaining!

1. The obvious first step is to BE POSITIVE.  How? Try taking a different view on things- seeing the positive in each situation, and accepting that no one or no situation is or can be perfect.

"The best way to interrupt a bad thought

is by saying something positive."   ~Joyce Meyer.

The 80/20 principle

The statement: 
20% of your actions drive 
80% of the positive results in your life.

This principle is applicable in business, love, social networking, selling... well, seems like everything!

How to apply this to your life?

Believe it or not, the answer is in DE-CLUTTERING your life!
This means you first need to recognize what part of your day you are wasting from being un-organized, small talk... to having NO PLAN.  As a starting point, for one day track how many minutes you spend on social media, texting, pinning on Pinterest (my timewaster), or checking emails.  Then, really consider how these actions are getting you to your GOAL  (which entails setting a resonable goal!).

Your next step is to

ELIMINATE or DELEGATE
this 80%

that offers only 20% results!

By being more accountable of how you spend your day, you can get better use of your time which is PRICELESS to getting you where you want to be!  Think about it!

I resolve today to be a better GUARDIAN of my time! How about you?